I cannot say that I suffer from weak nerves – these have been steeled after more than 10 years in journalism. During this time I have lost track of how many crisis situations I found myself in, but nothing truly scary has ever happened.

I have never been so frightened for my life, or that of those I love, that I had to scrutinize the inside of a bus or subway car for explosive devices. Although for almost half a year — since active preparations for the World Student Games began — they have been calling on us to do this on public transport.

Trucks still park right next to public places without causing worry. Forgotten packages on the porch do not frighten us.

Right now there are so many alarming reports from Tatarstan, and so little reliable information, that putting together a coherent picture about what is going on, or believing that the situation is under control, is more and more difficult.

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KSENIYA LARINA: Good afternoon. This is Kseniya Larina at the mike and we are starting the program “Culture Shock”. Every year for the last 11 years we here in the studio mark those tragic days, because it was on that day that the awful situation at Dubrovka was tragically resolved, 11 years ago was this operation to liquidate a hotbed of terrorism and in the process killed 130 hostages. One hundred and thirty hostages. Children, actors, and theater workers, all killed at a performance of ‘Nord-Ost’ at Dubrovka, and now a part of history. There was an attempt to resurrect the play, to somehow extend its existence, but this did not work out. Today in our studio we have Dmitry Milovidov, a member of the ‘Nord-Ost’ (organization) coordinating council, and the father of two hostages, one of whom perished. Hello, Dmitry.

DMITRY MILOVIDOV: Good afternoon.

LARINA: Alexandra Rozovskaya is an actress, a leading actress from the Russian Academic Youth Theater. Hi, Sasha.

ROZOVSKAYA: Hello.

LARINA: At that time, 11 years ago, Sasha was part of the cast of ‘Nord-Ost’, part of the children’s troupe, and she spent all those days at Dubrovka. Marina Litvinovich is a social activist, a journalist, and a human rights activist. Welcome and hello, Marina.

LITVINOVICH: Good afternoon.

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ONCE AGAIN ON 'NORD-OST' AND THE MANDATES OF THE EUROPEAN COURT'S DECISIONS

Due to health reasons, this year it was not possible for all of us to gather at that tragically famous spot on Dubrovka, the place where we lost brothers and sisters, children and parents, during the course of an operation more aimed at destroying terrorists than rescuing hostages. Certainly, history will answer the questions in full, but right now former hostages and relatives of deceased victims have already been fighting for the truth for 11 years. They are fighting for the truth about the case and the truth about the deaths of their loved ones.

Last year on this day dozens of hostages and their families gathered for a sad anniversary of the event — 10 years since the tragedy of 'Nord-Ost'. On that day, October 26th, 2012, our principal applicants in this case — old and new — signed an appeal to those obligated to assure the appropriate work of investigative bodies in our country so that they finally organize a thorough and independent investigation, pursuant to the decision of the European Court in the 'Nord-Ost' case ("Finogenov & Others v. Russia "), and to determine all those circumstances that the authorities so carefully conceal from its own citizens.

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Today is a sad anniversary. Eleven years ago, on October 23rd, 2002, Chechen militants stormed and took hostage the theater on Dubrovka in Moscow.

The up-to-date, newly remodeled, and beautifully furnished building was hosting the musical 'Nord-Ost'. Gathered here was not a poor crowd — the hall was full of nice suits and dresses, the scent of costly perfume, and the warble of pricey mobile phones.

In short, located here at ground zero were not the marginal members of society, but mainly representatives of the middle class that could spend a few hundred — a lot more money back then than nowadays — to go see this cultural project. Perhaps arguably cultural, since not one of the songs from the musical was even at least a «seasonal» hit, even after the tragedy.

The audience was probably about as happy as those not so poor people that bought tickets for the Titanic back in the day.

'Nord-Ost', meaning «a nor'easter» or northeast wind, turn out to be icy, and chilled all the way to the bone. The glamorous spectacle became a true hell on earth. Pale actors, in the remnants of their makeup, climbed down from windows and told reporters what was going on. What they said, of course, was confused, and confusing, which intensified the nightmarish atmosphere.

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Memory is increasingly a rarity these days. It disappears somewhere beneath the murky layers of unconscious time, somewhere consistently and deliberately edited from the minds of the well-fed for the sake of peace of mind in their gray matter. Do not remember, do not think, and do not know — that is the truth that the majority places on a pedestal. Memory for them is dangerous; they do not need it because it can raise doubts about their own piety.

Anna Politkovskaya, the journalist from ‘Novaya Gazeta’ who was murdered in 2006, was remembered on the 7th of October in many cities around the world. Her name is born  by streets and parks in Rome, Tbilisi, Milan, and Paris. This year a collective act of memory took place in the city of Samara. It took place, and, perhaps, became something greater.

On October 7, the Samara House of Journalists and Writers held a round table discussion in memory of Anna Politkovskaya. Representatives attended from the publications such as ‘Gagarin Park’, ‘Zasekin.ru’, ‘Novaya Gazeta in the Volga region’, ‘Svoboda Information Agency’, as well as Svetlana Zhdanov, head of the local Roskomnadzor (Russian FTC). Also attending were activists from non-governmental organizations, and bloggers.. Participants shared their thoughts and memories of Anna Politkovskaya, and discussed issues concerning the freedom of speech in Russia, Togliatti, and Samara.

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On September 3rd, during the ninth anniversary of the tragic events in Beslan, an exhibition opened in the Arts Center on Michurin Street. This “upside down” exhibition was devised by a Samara artist named Frol Jolly, who became both curator of the project and one of its authors.

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